The four years have been rather eventful. The following is just a taste of some of the fun (and not so fun) had at the LC with the affiliates of Oslo 2 and the former F4C.
Bru hospitalized after freak shovel throwing accident
DECORAH, Iowa—Oslo 2 resident, Bru was hospitalized late last night after enraged roommate, the Feez, tossed a snow shovel at him. Bru was released from the hospital only hours after the incident.
Vagrant floods Oslo 2
DECORAH, Iowa—John Blaizini was found almost dead this morning due to alcohol. He became unconscious while showering and covered the Oslo 2 drain; consequently flooding said residence.
Mummy and friend found dumpster diving
DECORAH, Iowa—Toilet paper and modern art adorned the front lawn of Oslo. Among the decorations were naked roadies, Blaizini and Fiers.
Jim and Pam kiss; Bru sheds tear
DECORAH, Iowa—The Office had its season finale this week. Jim and Pam shared an intimate kiss. The Forty Hands screening of the season finale was a tearjerker for many.
Car gets towed after tomfoolery
DECORAH, Iowa—Luther College staff member is upset after a night of mischief for a few unnamed students. “I just wanted to give us a story we would never forget,” said one member of the underground troublemaking gang.
D-r-u-n-k
DECORAH, Iowa—Farwell 4 Center held its first annual campus wide spelling bee invitational. Kirsten Eppelsheimer walked away with the gold. “The bucket drink really leveled the playing field. Any past spelling experience was wiped out by the RZC’s delicious concoction,” said local drunk, Luke Fier.
F4C resident vomits in silverware drop
DECORAH, Iowa—Cafeteria workers found a surprise when they washed the dinner silverware. An unnamed Luther Student projectiled in the drop earlier tonight after an afternoon of heavy boozing. He proceeded to pass out in the RZC’s bed.
Wandering dag gets more than bargained for
COLUMBIA, Mo.—The RZC made quite the splash in a recent trip to Missouri. Sources say that the RZC was outside inducing vomit when an innocent dog wearing a hooded sweatshirt appeared from the shadows. The RZC proceeded to projectile on the dag. Poor dag.
Charles, Frank and gang scavenge; David Gallagher gone missing
DECORAH, Iowa—Seventh Heaven star, David Gallagher, went missing last weekend after a gang of hooligans failed to complete a scavenger hunt. The incompletion was a result of a run in with the Decorah blue. Megan Fox appeared delighted.
Good Samaritan attempts unlawful lawnmower tune-ups
DECORAH, Iowa—Former Luther student, Mitch, was interrogated by the police late Saturday night after he was found inspecting numerous lawnmower filters. The Decorah Police deemed it as criminal mischief and kept the ruffian overnight for further questioning.
1 comment:
So you're telling me there's a god damn community of dogs that wear hoodies? This is getting out of hand.
I also though when we moved out of Farwell last year that it would be the last time I would ever encounter a dumpster-diver. Much less, did I believe I would see it in the middle of an academic school year.
Fortunately, since this round of headlines, Gallagher has since gone missing again. Most believe his remains are stuffed in the hatch compartment of the closet of Larsen 313. Others say he is having an affair the with the ghost that has haunted Larsen for years.
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